It's DEFINITELY a Kind of Magic

I love Eme, but that doesn't mean that every day is a picnic.

There are some days, however, when I am convinced that Mommy Magic is a very real, very powerful force.

Of course, while I'm calling it Mommy Magic, it's not exclusive to mommies. It's that thing where you (whether you're a mommy, daddy, grandparent, aunt, uncle, and/or primary caregiver) know the child so well, that you can help bring them around to where you need them to be through the exact right mix of cajolery and responsiveness. When it works, it feels magical.

Examples: sometimes she doesn't want to put her coat on, but I magically come up with a way to get her to do it herself without a fight. Once in a while, I'm the only one who can convince her to let us buckle her into her car seat. And today, I magicked her into taking a nap.

Eme has recently stopped taking naps. The good part of this is that she goes to bed an hour and a half earlier, and pretty much gets the same amount of sleep as before. The down side is that I don't get a break in my day, which can be a little bit wearing.

Today she woke up an hour early. Both she and I were yawning by 11am. We were planning to attend a family party tonight, and I knew that we'd end up leaving early (and possibly in tears) if she didn't get a nap.

I convinced her to lay down next to me after lunch. I talked, told stories, cajoled, and after a struggle of wills to get her to stop jumping around, convinced her to close her eyes, at which point she was asleep within minutes. Me too.

The fact that both Eme and I got a 2-hour nap was real magic.

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Redefined

[Wouldn't it be cool if, just once in a while, I actually posted something other than a picture? Well, here you go. I've been meaning to post on this topic for a while, so it's both of our lucky day; I get to post it, you get to read it. :)]

It's amazing how I've learned to redefine things now that my life has changed so much. A few examples:

A good day:

• Used to mean I got out of work early, or got to spend a whole day doing fun stuff that couples do with Andreas, or got a bunch of tasks done that I'd been meaning to do.
• Now it means that Eme took her nap (so that I got to do some work, or could spend time with Andreas, or get a few tasks done that I meant to do).

A clean house:

• Used to mean that I'd cleaned top to bottom, vacuuming every room and swiffering the linoleum, got the laundry and dishes done, counters cleaned, paraphernalia put away.
• Now it means there aren't toys EVERYWHERE, and the counter is relatively clean-ish.

Sleeping in:

• Used to mean cuddling in bed with Andreas until 9 or 10 in the morning on Saturday, usually followed by a leisurely breakfast.
• Now it means Eme doesn't wake me until 7:30, instead of at 7.

Watching a movie:

• Used to mean Andreas and I would sit down for the full length of a film we, as adults, wanted to see.
• Now it means watching any of a number of Disney films that I've now seen multiple times each (skipping over any "scary" parts as defined by Eme), or watching part of a movie with Andreas after we put Eme to bed (only part because we're often too tired to finish in one sitting)

The list could go on, but the important thing is this: it is our capacity to redefine ourselves that allows us to grow and change, and it is through change that we experience more of the world than we ever knew existed. It is through change that we remain alive, and avoid becoming stagnant.

Therefore, while all of these redefinitions may sound like complaints, the truth is that they're my life and I love my life. With that in mind, I offer one final redefinition:

Love:

• Used to mean the way I feel about my family, and the special bond I share with Andreas.
• Now it means all of those things, plus the way my heart fills when I see/think about/teach something new to/learn something new from Eme.

Thank goodness for the change that brought me, along with everything else that I've redefined, this amazing connection, which I wouldn't trade for anything.

Not even for Saturday mornings.

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Mappen Kakken

Who knew I'd learn a habit from a 2-year-old?

Recently Andreas' cousin, his cousin's wife, and their 2-year-old son came from Sweden to stay with us for a couple of weeks.

I was nervous for Emelie. The time she has spent with other children is for an hour or two at a time, so I had no idea how she'd respond to having another toddler in the house playing with her toys, sleeping on a different schedule (and therefore being awake and running around while Eme was napping), and generally exerting his own will on a previously Eme-run household.

Actually, it was fine. Great, really.

Eme would get excited in the morning when she heard Viktor stirring in his room. She was very kind about sharing (really, she just let him have whatever he wanted, and came up with ways to trick him into wanting different toys than she wanted -- clever Eme). Nap times turned out not to be as big a problem as I thought. In general, everything went well.

What I didn't expect was that Viktor would teach ME any habits.

He had a little stuffed cat ("katten" in Swedish) and a pacifier ("knappen") that he wanted when he was tired or needed comfort. When he wailed "knappen och katten" (as in "I want my pacifier and cat, please") repeatedly, it meant he was upset or tired. With his 2-year-old Swedish it sounded to me like "mappen kakken."

Up to now, Emelie hasn't had a mappen kakken. I've been trying to keep her independent of props so that if we forget a particular animal when we go out she can still take her naps. In fact, I've been trying to rotate the animals she carries around, hoping that she won't become dependent on any one of them.

Seeing how much Viktor loved his mappen kakken, I have been rethinking. Now, every time Eme asks for "beebeeeee" (her baby doll) I let her have it (rather than trying to distract with something else). So far, she's still able to get to sleep without it, but she asks for it almost every night....

Have I started a bad habit?

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