I have a confession to make...

(Jen at Sprite's Keeper has made this week's Spin about parental confessions, so here's mine:)

I am a "comparer." I compare my child to other children.

Before you say so, I realize that this is not healthy. I try not to do it out loud because I don't want my daughter to learn to do it (because it wouldn't be healthy for her either).

I am a competitive person, and I'm often more judgmental of other people than makes sense in any given situation. Long story short, if I meet your baby, hear about your baby, or read about your baby, I am probably going to compare your baby to mine.

Yes, I'd say Eme is cuter than the Brangelina twins. She certainly has better manners than many of the kids at the library. She's also stronger than many of the kids we meet on the playground. Oops, is that my parental bias talking?

I think everyone does it now and then, and it's not always a bad thing. Sometimes I use other children as benchmarks to determine where Eme should be by a certain age. Other times I learn something from one of her contemporaries that I can try to teach her so that she will have learned it by the given age.

Sometimes it is a bad thing. Sometimes I'm thinking "Eme is so much nicer than that baby," or "Eme knows a lot more words than that baby." It's not meant to be a slight on another child so much as it is meant to make me feel like my baby is the best one.

The dumb part is that I will always, in every circumstance, think my baby is the best one, just as your baby will always be the best baby you've ever met.

As you see, I realize that my comparisons are unnecessary, unjust, and exceptionally biased. The most I can hope for myself is that I manage to keep my opinions inside so I don't alienate those people whose support I'll need on the days when my baby is the one who is not behaving.

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