Things you do for your angel

My child is challenging me in ways I never imagined (yes, mom, I know that you told me this would happen, but it's different to hear about it than to experience it).

Today we took her paper dolls of Cinderella, Belle, and Ariel and dressed then undressed then re-dressed them in all "boo-fullll" dresses. Again and again.

And I enjoyed it.

Not because I love playing dress up (though I think there may have been a time when I was a lot younger and I did like dressing my dolls). Because SHE loves playing dress up. It's amazing to feel her excitement transferring to me -- she gets so excited about which dress each of them will wear that I find myself saying "Ariel, what dress would YOU like?"

As anyone who knows me can vouch, and something that has been a theme in many other of my posts, Disney princesses are not my thing. This morning, though, they were. Just for a little while.

I imagine that if she wants to play again tomorrow, they'll be my thing tomorrow, too.

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Redefined

[Wouldn't it be cool if, just once in a while, I actually posted something other than a picture? Well, here you go. I've been meaning to post on this topic for a while, so it's both of our lucky day; I get to post it, you get to read it. :)]

It's amazing how I've learned to redefine things now that my life has changed so much. A few examples:

A good day:

• Used to mean I got out of work early, or got to spend a whole day doing fun stuff that couples do with Andreas, or got a bunch of tasks done that I'd been meaning to do.
• Now it means that Eme took her nap (so that I got to do some work, or could spend time with Andreas, or get a few tasks done that I meant to do).

A clean house:

• Used to mean that I'd cleaned top to bottom, vacuuming every room and swiffering the linoleum, got the laundry and dishes done, counters cleaned, paraphernalia put away.
• Now it means there aren't toys EVERYWHERE, and the counter is relatively clean-ish.

Sleeping in:

• Used to mean cuddling in bed with Andreas until 9 or 10 in the morning on Saturday, usually followed by a leisurely breakfast.
• Now it means Eme doesn't wake me until 7:30, instead of at 7.

Watching a movie:

• Used to mean Andreas and I would sit down for the full length of a film we, as adults, wanted to see.
• Now it means watching any of a number of Disney films that I've now seen multiple times each (skipping over any "scary" parts as defined by Eme), or watching part of a movie with Andreas after we put Eme to bed (only part because we're often too tired to finish in one sitting)

The list could go on, but the important thing is this: it is our capacity to redefine ourselves that allows us to grow and change, and it is through change that we experience more of the world than we ever knew existed. It is through change that we remain alive, and avoid becoming stagnant.

Therefore, while all of these redefinitions may sound like complaints, the truth is that they're my life and I love my life. With that in mind, I offer one final redefinition:

Love:

• Used to mean the way I feel about my family, and the special bond I share with Andreas.
• Now it means all of those things, plus the way my heart fills when I see/think about/teach something new to/learn something new from Eme.

Thank goodness for the change that brought me, along with everything else that I've redefined, this amazing connection, which I wouldn't trade for anything.

Not even for Saturday mornings.

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Because of....

For anyone who is counting, today is Andreas' and my 6 year wedding anniversary. That makes it the 12 year anniversary of our first date. (Yes, we did that on purpose. Too cutesy?)

Back at the very beginning I created a phrase that described how I wanted to love and be loved, and Andreas and I have subscribed to this philosophy ever since. I said that I wanted someone who would love me "because of, not in spite of" the way that I am, and I'd do the same in return.

If I were to love everything about him except the one or two things, then I'd constantly be trying to "fix" him. If he were to love me "even though" I am one way or another, then he'd wonder when I was going to change. Instead, we try to accept each other exactly as we are, and love all of those things that are the hardest to love.

Andreas has loved me because of my big heart, my love of animals, my joy of life, but also because of my (occasional) sharp-tongued jabs at his expense, and the way I smell (stinky) after two days of not showering because being a mommy sometimes means I forget to be a (clean) wife.

In return, I have loved him for the way he sees humor in everything, his ability to keep me calm and sane, and the way he can make friends with anyone, but also the (sometimes maddening) way that he volunteers out his time to anyone who needs help even if I need him at home, and how he (usually, but not always, correctly) thinks he knows the best way to accomplish any task.

Now we have Eme (whose 14 month "birthday" was yesterday) in our lives. There are days (though they are very few) when we might wish that she would be different than the way she is (please, please, PLEASE sleep through the night). But we love her. Just as she is.

We love Emelie because...

she is very good at making us laugh.
she is amazingly smart.
she almost never lets us take naps.
she learns new things every day.
she gets excited by anything that moves by itself (trucks, cats, leaves, whatever).
she says "mama" and "dada" and means us.
she loves us.
she sometimes stinks.
she knows how to spit her food out (see Cuffs and Peaches).
she enjoys singing and dancing.
she enjoys spinning around in circles until she falls down.
she enjoys doing very unladylike things even when we're in public (see The F Bomb).
she's usually sweet and gentle.
she's sometimes not sweet and gentle.
she's awesome.

For all of these reasons and more, we love our beautiful, stinky angel.

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