Another Nerd Handbook 2.0 moment

One of Eme's favorite restaurants, recently, has been "Big Cow."

That's what she calls Chick-Fil-A because of the poster of the big cow that stands at the entrance. It's probably not the food she likes best (though she likes both fruit and chicken, both of which she gets there). I imagine it's the play area.

She hangs like a monkey, slides down the slide ("beeeeeeeeeeeee!" Yes, that's her version of "whee"), and generally has a good time telling other kids to "go. goooooooooo!"

Recently, the toys that have been coming with the children's meal have been science-related, which I like. We have "collected" a graduated cylinder and a beaker, so far.

The other day (beaker day) I heard a mother asking what she was going to do with a graduated cylinder (even though she was holding a beaker). "What do I do, say 'here you go baby, here's a graduated cylinder?'"

A few points:
1) Technically, the science toys are for kids over 3; there are board books if you prefer a different toy for "babies." Since they're plastic, though, they're perfectly safe for Eme, which was why we didn't make a fuss about her being under 3.
2) What the mom was saying, that's basically what we did. We said "here you go, Emelie, here's a graduated cylinder" (about the actual graduated cylinder; for the beaker we said "here's a beaker"). She got really excited about it. What's wrong with that?
3) Eme had a fantastic time with her graduated cylinder and beaker. We gave them to her in the bath, and she spent her time measuring the bath water, pouring from one cylinder to the other. She became very sad when it was time to put them away.

I did mention to the mother (as I passed by her table) that I couldn't help overhearing and it happens that we use ours as bath toys. She just said, "oh."

I know. We're nerds. But we're okay with that.

It looks like our baby might be a nerd, too. We're certainly okay with that!

Turns out that the revision of the nerd handbook that she was working on in the womb has more science in it than my version did, though.

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The most Beautifulest, Stink-pantsiest, Sleepsing Bee Ever

Anyone whose grammar I've ever corrected, please stand up. (Yes, you too my third grade teacher. And probably my second grade one as well.)

Now that you're all standing, you are welcome to laugh at me for the title of this post.

I have always been a curve-wrecker, and a grammar (and spelling) corrector, and I have a little bit of a nerd-crush on Grammar Girl for her ability to solve those few tricky grammar issues of which I'm unsure (em dash vs en dash, anyone?). Since becoming a mommy, my grammar has seriously gone downhill. And my spelling. (And doing part-time copywriting doesn't help -- ads are generally riddled with grammar issues! For example, starting sentences with "and.")

After mentioning mommy grammar in my post on The F Bomb, I have been thinking about doing a whole post on the topic. Today I placed Eme in her stroller so I could take her on a walk to get her to go down for her nap, then proceeded to say "it's sleepsing time!" This made me realize that today is a mommy grammar kind of day.

A few "rules" for mommy grammar:
1. It's okay to make anything plural. In fact, pluralizing things just makes them cuter. Examples include milks ("Who wants some milks?"), sleeps ("Are you ready to go to sleeps?"), poops ("Did you make a poops in your pantses?"), etc.
2. If something is already plural, stick some extra letters at the end, but only if it makes the word cuter rather than more awkward. (see above: pantses; also, feeties, handsies, toesies, etc., but NOT fingerses -- that's just hard to say)
3. Remove any prepositions, or any parts that would normally be a necessary part of a sentence, that make the sentences cuter if you take them out. (Example from The F Bomb post: "Did you fart your pants" where the normally necessary preposition "in" has been removed. Also, "Eme want to go store?", etc.)
4. Add extra words, or rearrange the normal order of the sentence, if that makes it sound funnier. For example: "Who does goes to the outside?", "Eme is the most stinksiest baby!", etc.
5. Have fun! I had often been annoyed by hearing other mothers butcher the English language to their babies. Turns out it's much cuter and funnier to use incorrect grammar when it's your own baby.

Yes, eventually I'll need to make sure that Eme understands the appropriate grammar (though I'm pretty sure she has The Nerd Handbook 2.0 -- in fact, I think she was revising my original version while still in the womb), but for now I'm not going to worry. We'll get there.


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