How did I become the mean lady?

You might think you know where I'm going with this, but my daughter still thinks I'm great. I imagine she might think I'm the mean lady some day, but not just yet.

No, it's Eme's little friend who thinks I'm the mean lady.

We had a play date at our house with a new little friend (she's just over 2 years old) the other day. The friend was a little shy at first, since it was all Eme's toys instead of her own and she had never been here before, asking her mommy to do things with her instead of interacting with Eme. This is exactly what Eme does in strange situations (wants me to do activities first so she knows they're okay), so I just smiled and encouraged Eme to keep playing near the friend until she warmed up.

The friend went to dump out the crayons. Her mommy gently said "no, we don't dump." I said that if she wanted to dump, that was okay with me. Eme dumps the crayons all the time.

Look at me, the cool mom who lets toddlers dump stuff!

By this point the friend had become a little bit frustrated and was throwing crayons. Her mommy said "we don't throw crayons!" I thought I was backing the mom up when I looked at the girl and said -- VERY gently, I might add -- "no, sweetheart, no throwing crayons." (Even cool moms have limits.)

The friend burst into tears. She hugged her mommy and wailed "nooooo. nooooooo!" miming throwing something. She wouldn't be consoled by her blanket, or by cuddling, or by distraction.

Here we were, ten minutes into the play date, and I had done something that made her so upset that she actually told her mommy she wanted to go home and attempted to open the front door to leave.

So much for being the cool mommy. All of a sudden I was the mean lady who chastises poor, defenseless little girls.

After a while her mommy managed to calm her down, and the friend even warmed up to me a little bit later when we played catch with a tennis ball (yes, I let her throw a ball in the house; I have a strong need for affirmation, so I couldn't go around letting her think I was uncool).

It felt so strange, though, to be the one that the friend thought was mean. I'm so used to my baby thinking I'm the best, calling for mommy when she's upset, and only willing to be consoled by me, that this came as a little bit of a shock. In fact, I wondered if it's how other people feel when my baby is upset and I'm the only one who can console her....

I don't like being the mean lady, even if it was by accident and temporary.

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